One day at a time, baby

I'm pretty sure no one I personally know, knows this blog. Except maybe my sister. ::Hi sissy::
So I think that gives me the right to be able to rant. Almost like if you're gossiping with someone that is totally out of the circle, so you can almost say anything you want to say about people. (Almost anything)
So recently I went to a friends house with my BF. It's one of his best friends and actually he used to be my best friend for a few years also. We had a bit of a falling-out and things didn't end well. After about a year or so of no talking, he tried to start talking to me again to try and patch things up so it wasn't weird for my BF. I wasn't really concerned because I found more faults in this kid than I wanted to deal with so I was fine with ignoring him. After a few years we've been hanging out together more and more, because of my BF of course. I realized that he really can't handle someone disliking him. He always wants to be liked by everyone and sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that some people just don't like you. I think I got over that fact years ago. haha..
Anyway, we went to this friends house the other night after a family party and it was all the usual crowd. Thankfully my BF has realized that he really shouldn't and actually physically can't drink as much as he used to. I am not a drinker. At all. I've never gotten drunk, I've never thrown up from alcohol and I have no interest in doing so. When we arrived, it was around 8:30-9:00ish and another one of my BF's friends was definitely drunk.
As you may know, everyone has their own drunk personality. This kid, I'll call him Tiny, gets louder, slightly more touchy than he would ever be sober, and he cleans things towards the end of the parties. (it's not even a good cleaning)
I brought Malibu Pineapple and a cherry Slushie from 7-11 and I drank that. Throughout the whole night it was mostly just me and another girl, who is the GF of one of my BF's close friends. She's sweet and cute and we laugh about the guys mostly. Her and her BF are about 3 years younger than the rest of us and it really doesn't seem to make a difference the majority of the time. Only because my BF's friends are VERY immature. I'm pretty sure I would have a heart attack if any of them decided to grow up and not act like they did 7 years ago in high school. Her and her BF actually live together. They are the only ones in the group, aside from another couple that is our age and sort of in the group. They're only sort of because they live farther away and don't often get to hang in our hometown. THEY have their shit togeher. They just recently bought a house together, they both have great long-term jobs and I'm proud of them. And super jealous of course.
It's hard for me to be happy for these guys sometimes because sometimes my jealously just gets the better of me. Isn't that just natural though? My BF and I have been together the longest. Unfortunately he's not ready financially to move forward with me. He has the better paying job but student/car loans. I have the less paying job, no debt, and way more savings put away. How do we move forward? We've discussed things many times. I'm not too pleased about it but I understand him not wanting to bring the debt into the relationship.

To get back to what I originally was getting at, this certain GF and I were half joking, half internally sobbing about how our guys are being held back by the other immature friends that they love hanging out with. It's hard. Girls have always matured way faster than guys have. I remember in elementary school, all the girls started to sprout upwards in height way before the boys did. Then once middle school hit, the guys started to sprout but the girls were getting their periods so they were maturing emotionally. Then the end of middle school/beginning of high school hit and the guys finally caught up. Girls graduated and moved on to bigger and better things and the guys were still stuck in the twilight zone of immaturity. Here we are, 7 years later and only a handful get what us ladies want. Granted not every girl wants the same thing and not every guy is an idiot emotionally but I would say the majority are totally absent-minded about it. It's unfortunate.
By the time I get to be engaged, married and ready for kids, I'm not going to physically be able to keep up with them, if i'm lucky enough to even be able to have them.
Please God, this is my written prayer, aside from the one I say to you in my head all the time, please make it so I can have children. One of the reasons we were put on this Earth was to bear children. Please don't make it a difficult task. I beg you

Well, that's all for tonight. I'm at Soccer Sense in Monroe? for a couple hours waiting for one of the kids I babysit to finish up his practice. Thankfully I bought this Chromebook for this exact reason. I just noticed that there's an update I have to do. Once that finishes I'm going to try and watch something on Netflix.
Have a good night, Earth.
xoxo

Chores turned into jobs..

Hello again.
It's been some time, eh? I hoped to make this more of an everyday thing but I usually don't make enough time in my day to attempt that.
A few things have happened since I've last left a post.
My best friend Dylan passed away in June. It was a couple days before my birthday. Started off my 25th year of being alive pretty lousy to say the least. I've gained and lost a few jobs. Still an Independent Contractor with many different jobs at many different times of the day. I still like that part of my life, I'm not sick of it yet. I babysit some days, I clean houses some other days, and then there's also days where I do both multiple times throughout the day. It keeps me on my toes. Keeps my brain working and I like being needed. I treat my clients well, at least I think so. I work hard and I do my best with whatever job I end up doing.
Anyway, life is basically the same. I hurt my back about a month ago while at one of my jobs. It was my own fault and I paid a price for not doing something correctly. So I have been struggling with the fact that I can't go buckwild at the gym yet. Just went to my first gym class since I hurt myself and I don't feel like crap yet. (which is good news) I did a Blacklight Run on Friday night with my sister and friends and made it through that. We did it a bit slower than we normally do them but that's ok. I didn't feel like dying afterwards, just super exhausted the next day. That's allowed though.

So the family has a wedding in Ohio in October. Excited to see how everything goes with that. My longtime family friend that I grew up with is getting married! The first one in the group of us kids. Their family has three girls, and my family has two girls, including me. I'm the youngest in the group, 25, and the oldest in the group of us is 32. (I'm pretty sure) We've all grown a bit apart since we were young, especially since two of the girls went to live in other states. The youngest, who is getting married, and the middle child. It's hard to stay in touch when lives go on and new friends are made. I used to be with the one that is getting married all the time. We always had sleepovers and every Christmas we would end up having matching clothes. Our parents still try to get together as much as possible and stay decently close so that's good. I love all the memories I had/have with them. Actually I love all the memories I have as a kid with all my friends. My school friends, my family friends, everyone. I had a great childhood and I'm grateful for all the good times. I'm even thankful for all the bad times too because them I learned something. I always learned something from my past. I do end make a lot of mistakes so I have much to learn from.

Well I don't have much of anything to say. This is more just like a journal entry for me.
Dear diary, your life is super boring.
Love, me